Young, WIDOWED, & Dating - Reaction/Reading
Take things one day at a time. Hi Nancy, I lost my husband to cancer this year on May 5th. I miss my husband daily too. My husband was never going to be getting better, he kept getting more and more cancer and he was soo ready to meet the lord. He was a warrior and fought the hard fight the last years. Once the funeral was over and I was on my own for a month or longer and knowing my husband wants me to be happy I took the initiative in June and went on a dating site to check it out. I was not expecting to meet someone but I did.
I even went on other dates with other men but they were not what I was looking for. You know when your heart is ready. The man I found has been with me since our first date in June and he has comforted me during the worst time of my life, took me to the cemetary, held me until I was done crying, and helps me with indoor and outdoor house projects.
Our last six months have been a testimony of fighting for love. It was a rollercoaster with me with my emotions, mentalness but in the end he never gave up on me. To this day he is still with me. I truly feel my late husband and God brought this man into my life knowing I was going to need him and not because I was lonely.
When there is great loss it changes everything. My first husband was diagnosed with cancer when my younger son was 7 weeks old. I was widowed at 31 with two boys ages 4 and 2. I was lucky enough to find love again and have been happily married for the second time for 12 years. I will never be over it. I miss my first husband everyday and I always will. I also love my current husband with everything I have.
Thank you for your essay, you nailed it. In my husband had a heart attack that should have taken his life. The only thing that saved him was that we at the last minute decided on a parents night out at a hotel in the city, 5 minutes from one of our main hospitals in Perth, Western Australia. Had we been home and he went to sleep he would not be lying next to me snoring away. After this happened the love we have for each other grew by infinite numbers and it brought home the pain I would suffer if he had left me that night.
He is my best friend but I also know that he would hope that if I was left alone that one day someone could come along and teach my heart to love again. Who knows when then would happen and should we fight it because of an arbitrary number of months. I still shudder when I think of being alone and the I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that you have all gone through, all I know is that no one should have to remain in that state of pain, my husband will be with me in every way regardless of whatever happens in the future, I only need to look into the eyes of my children.
Nov 26, Now, what? There isn't a manual for how to venture back into the dating pool. Do you seek out a potential partner who has also suffered a loss? Is it okay to talk about your loss in a new relationship? Be part of the Young, Widowed & Dating community-whether you're contemplating re-entry or have found a new, loving relationship. The response was overwhelming and I've truly found my voice writing about topics of relevance to widows. I recently interviewed widows for a book, "The One Thing: Widows Share Lessons on Love, Loss, and Life", which is a powerful resource for new widows - told from the vantage point of those who have lived it. The coffee-table. Ask anyone who is widowed and they will tell you they've gotten no shortage of advice - from family, friends, in-laws, other widows and widowers, and some people not even qualified to give a dog a command. But how do you know what's fact and what's fiction? How.
Thank you so much for putting into words my thoughts daily. I lost my husband to suicide on December 28th, and found him on the 29th. The morning of the 28th he showed me how much he loved me with everything he still had in him.
I still struggle with not seeing his pain because we were one. I began parenting solo with a halo parent life style. I hate when someone refers to me as a single parent. My children still have both parents we are just doing life differently.
I spent a year working on my grief and new I had a lot of love to share with someone special.
I began dating for the 1st time since I was 17 ugh. I went on several dates and his signs would say this is not the right one. I finally got the sign this one was worth opening my heart too. I still have challenges with this relationship because his past is divorce. It is very true I love him differently that is no doubt. It scares me because I want to love and be loved the way I was. My best friend put it in great prospective to me and it helped.
Your soul mate was the love of your life and he is the love of your future. I just wish he could understand those words. Why does society feel it is fine to be divorced and except talking about the x good or bad is acceptable but being widowed and speaking highly and loving your late spouse is awkward and unaccepted? I will keep loving because that is the heart God gave me. I will also share your words with the love of my future and hope he gets it when delivered from someone other than me.
Tammie, I hope my words will be of help to him too. Be open to a love that may not necessarily look exactly like your former love but is just as great. Prayers for continued healing.
Sep 25, Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post. Nov 26, Let me know what topics hit close to home, which posts you draw strength from or how you've been inspired to keep moving through the overwhelming pain. It's a place where you'll always feel connected, knowing there are other young widows and widowers across the globe who understand the many emotions that come with being young and widowed. May 06, There are those who will tell you that a woman who still grieves her dead husband isn't capable of love. But, broken colors still color and can create stunning artwork. Choosing to love a widow, though challenging, can be a rewarding experience.
Comparing children to the love we have for a romantic partner is comparing apples and oranges. We may have more than one child but we do not have more than one spouse unless you are living in a polygamist cult. We do not share romantic feelings for more than one man at a time. I was widowed at 34 and I loved my late husband. We have our children and grandchildren, and yes, we love them all, but again, parental love is a very different animal from the love we share with a spouse.
That love involves intimacy, something we do not share with children.
It involves partnership, something we do not share with our children. Romantic love is just different and to assert that it is not is just not fact. I loved and adored my late husband. I love the memories of the life that we shared. It took me 22 years to find another man to whom I could fully commit and give my whole heart to but he was so worth the wait! We both choose to live in the present. We think about our present and future. Our late spouses do not have a place in our marriage.
Thanks for your opinion and happy this thought process works for your marriage, Mairin. Me and my wife waa married for 24 great years before we went vacation to Missouri. We were on our final day. I had packed the SUV and she had came down and got in on passager side of the vehicle and i went side to get coffee as normal when i came out she was dead. I weeped and prayed at the hospital all night praying for anything to happen even thought the doctor said there was no use. I got and made the arrangement to have my wife sent home and informed my son his mom passed away and drove hardest 12 hour drive ive ever drove home.
My life was devasted for a little over a year.
Young widowed and dating blog
I blamed myself and wished i hadbt went on that vacation then things changed and i found purpose to life threw Gods blessing i help with my neice being born, and found Kim who i dating now and have been for almost a year and half and we got to see my grandson together and i was there when he was born, so really good things miracles really do happen. Oh dont let me forget Kims two wonderful daughters who has welcome me into their family and surprisingly i have enough love for them, so in ending God will not give you more than you can handle beleive me.
Gods love. Sometimes ignorance is bliss My mother passed away in November Long battle with pancreatic cancer. Within a month I began hoping my dad would eventually find someone new.
He deserves to be happy again. I was shocked to find out that quite often, adult children have a very hard time with accepting their parents new partner.
I had a talk with my younger brother about it and he agreed, he wanted my dad to just be happy. We sat him down and talked to him about it. You could almost see a weight lifted off his shoulders. So many are burdened by children who refuse to even have a parent consider dating again. Thanks so much! This brought tears to my eyes. I am now 83 years old and lost my husband 4 years ago after a 60 year marriage. One never gets too old to miss being loved, kissed and caressed.
Since his death it has been very lonely. It is so lovely that you are finding love again. Even at my age, I wish I could also. Thanks, Elinor. Love is appreciated at any age. I work with retirement communities and I had a resident get remarried at 85 years old! Wow you hit the nail on the head. I recently lost my husband 2-weeks ago at 51 due to prostate and brain cancer.
Honestly, I recommend keeping an open mind. Your new love may not be anything you picture in your mind right now. Consider joining our closed Facebook group. Thank you for this Kerry. You have no idea how much your words have touched me. I lost my husband of 34 years on May 19, He spent the last 14 months of his life in a hospital fighting to get better. In January of a friend of ours, who had been divorced for many years, would come to the house and fix things for me, would take me out to dinner or a concert and we were just two friends spending time together.
At some point during the relationship progressed and we became more than friends. At one point before he died my husband asked me if I would ever get married again. My husband died inhe suffered an illness and I was given the gift of being able to take care of HIM for once, an treasure every day together.
He had 2 years after his initial diagnosis. When he passed away even though I knew it was coming, I was crushed. An old friend and I, he also widowed about the same time, reconnected out of friendship and had not idea that that would blossom into.
His loss of his wife was more unexpected but painful all the same. We have healed each other, brought eachother back to life, and are thankful for every single day. I hope many people read this and help others struggling to live thru their loss. I love this article! I was widowed at 51 as a result of a farm accident. I met my second husband 14 months later. After realizing how short a life can be, I resolved I would follow my heart no matter what other people thought.
There is no rule book for dating post loss. Please love fully. I am not young. But I sure would enjoy someone to go to movies, concerts, and show openings with. Thank you so much for these words. I lost my love just a year ago at age He gifted me two amazing boys in our 12 years together and mostly I think of them and how they are dealing.
Both are unplanned, a position you never imagined for yourself. Great thoughts. I am not in your situation, but I have an aunt who was married 40 years and then a few years later married another wonderful guy and was blessed with 16 years.
I am glad that your site is there to encourage others. Maybe some others would like it. We shared it on our public page, giving you full credit of course! I love this post and it rings so true. It gives me hope. My husband and I were married 13yrs 5mo and 11days. I have 2 amazing daughters that remind me of his love daily. I was asked out on a date just 10 days ago and am not ready for that step.
I have been pushing myself trying to heal faster and have realized I am on no time table. I enjoyed all the comments of the Beautiful Love Stories. Thanks, Kay. I love that. Going on 20 years n still n always will be in love with my dearest husband. Spouses can be replaced, children cannot be replaced. The relationship dynamic is different as most are not intimate with their children. Your former spouse did not have pictures up or stories told of some other man that you were intimate with and your spouse deserves that same level of respect.
Unless you married for sex and companionship and the real love died with the former spouse. Most people marry for love and to have a committed relationship. Did you tell your former spouse about how they were second to someone else?
Different books for different seasons of life. MK, thanks for sharing an alternative view. I reserve the right to love my late-spouse and my partner. Yes, to each its own. He proposed after a week of knowing me. We had a blast for short 4 years. Now, he is hopefully in Heaven and is happy watching me, his widow, trying to re-build the life here on Earth. I choose to believe that we progress to the level where there is no jealousy, judgement or negativity; if not in this life, than hopefully when the souls move to the next level.
Hope there is only pure love and happiness where he is. The former spouse is not here on this planet, and nothing is bringing him back. The Widow is still alive, and has no other choice than to live until God takes her.
He was my twin flame. In his will he wrote that he wanted me to be happy. If he would want me to live alone and grieve for the rest of my life, he would not be the man I have chosen. He would be a very selfish person who would not deserve my live, life or time. So, I choose to keep his memory and love for him in my heart forever, and I can love another man too. There never will be a replacement, but I have so much love left in me!
What not to share?! The new guy will not be having left overs. After this horrific experience, I know that I have to keep my heart open. I became even more brave and independent. Would my husband want me to be a masochist and mentally put myself into the grave with him? I doubt that very much. So, what makes Chapter 2 offensive? What polygamous marriage has to do with this situation?
Death took care of it. If I could tell something to my former spouse, he would not be former. He would be here with me. I can keep talking and be diagnosed mentally ill. It is not my choice to be left alone here. Not my choice that he is DEAD. But, I can make a choice and continue living and giving love and happiness instead of closing myself up and be another bitter human being.
Your words just brought the tears flooding. My husband of 16 years has been gone almost 3 years now. I started dating someone within a few months and we spent two years together. He understood my intense love and my overwhelming pain. He allowed me the space to live and to grieve my husband. Your article is beautiful. Thank YOU. That is exactly what I needed to hear today, my late husbands birthday is tomorrow! He would have been We were married on November 13, Married for 8 months and 13 days.
He died in a work accident July 26, I became a widow 2 days after my 23rd birthday in and a mother August 18, the last year has been rough but the child the Lord has blessed us with on our honeymoon has been a lifesaver for me.
I have been terrified what people might think when I moved forward and started dating and reading your post, which a friend had sent me gave me a little hope. I deal with the guilt of hurting his family and the nasty comments of those who feel that I have forgetting him.
They will Never understand the pain of losing your best friend and partner. This is beautiful and so comforting. Thank you. The same can hold true for those of us divorced. Loving is what makes us human! Loving helps us pull through the most horrific times in our lives. May you keep love in your heart and be happy.
Thank you, I lost my husband Jan 4th of He had Cancer. Was so sad watching him slowly leave me. I love him more than words can explain, My heart hurts so bad. I miss him terribly. We were married for 14 awesome years. But lived together 10 years before we married. This is the hardest thing ever. Any how thanks for listening. Hugs, Becky. They can be a great resource, especially in those early months. I so agree with you. I entered widowhood December 25, am. I am became a different person on that day.
It mad me appreciate every day, every moment and fiercely and unconditionally love those in my life. I miss and love my husband deeply. But I know that I have a lot of love to give.
I lost my husband 4 years ago. We were married for 11 years, and those were the best years of my life. Although you never forget, we have to move forward. My family is not open to me dating again, yet alone remarrying. But I am.
I hope to find a special person that I can spend the rest of my life with. Hi Noemi, I am in the same situation as you. I lost my husband May of this year, we were married I Loved him and still love him. We will always have our special connection. He knew he was leaving this earth and he hold me he wants me to be happy again and he told his best friend that.
While there is no how-to guide for young widows navigating life post-loss, The One Thing: Widows Share Lessons on Love, Loss, and Life, is a powerful resource for new widows - told from the vantage point of those who have lived it. Jul 03, Mom to a feisty preschooler, Kerry Phillips became widowed at age She runs an online support group for young widows and widowers venturing back into the world of dating and is a blogger for The Huffington Post. Dec 31, Widow Blog best list. Get information on Widows magazine, Widows inspirational stories, Widows widowhood stories,Widows dating tips and sites, motivation for widows and widowers, sites which gives detailed support and strength to a widows health, stories which will help to recover from spouse's death and rebuild healthy life and much more by following best Widow websites.
My family says we want you to be happy but not date for years down the road. They are not on my timeline. They have no idea what it is like to lose their spouses.
I hope you are open to dating and getting married again. You deserve it. No matter what family tells you, follow your heart!! My wife and I had 31 years of being married. She had a 3 year battle with cancer. She told me she wanted me to move forward and find someone to love and cherish as I had loved her. I met my girlfriend, best friend, and companion 5 months ago.
She lost her husband of 20 years to cancer and has a similar story as mine. Her husband encouraged her to find someone also. We became connected on a dating website 30 minutes after I had joined it.
We are both different than our loved ones who had passed but are souls connected to each other because of the love that we had for spouses.
We never thought either of us could love again. But we were proven wrong. Do not give up on matters of love and the heart. Catherine on July 3, at pm. Kerry Phillips on July 7, at am. Thanks, Catherine. Ignore all the noise. Beatrice on November 1, at am. Anonymous on July 10, at pm. Sandy on July 8, at pm. Kerry Phillips on July 13, at am. Isabelle on February 24, at pm. I lost my first husband after onlyb7 years, he told me to find someone else to,help raise out two boys, I raised the boys and 13 years found someone else to love, lost him after 32 years, you can love more than one person, love is beautiful, loneliness is terrible, hope one day God will let me love again Reply.
Chongo on September 14, at am. Kerry Phillips on November 16, at pm. Katie on September 28, at am. Yur words touch home to me in so many ways bless yu and pray yu find true happiness again Sandy xx Reply. Mary Jane Holloway on August 3, at pm.
Diana on October 14, at am. I had 12 short years with my husband as well Met my guy one year later He is a widower who understands Reply. Diane on December 14, at pm. Kerry Phillips on December 16, at am. Shari on December 27, at am. John discovered a passion for writing and speaking about love, loss, grief, healing and an undying hope for a better tomorrow. John's goal is to help others both honor their pain. I'm Maryalene. I became a widow at age 35 when my husband, Tom, died at age Now that Tom is gone, I'm working hard to pick up the pieces.
As of this writing, we're 2. I also hope to put together a list of resources for widowed mothers.
Since Jul Blog mightywidow. About Blog I lost my love to cancer on November 14, Now this blog will also be dealing with the challenges of widowhood my moving forward to create a new and fulfilling life sans my soul mate. I still hope you enjoy it. This blog will,reflect this opinion and present a record of my own journey and discoveries along the way. About Blog A place to bring all the insane facts of my life into one place.
Everyone who knows me jokes a camera crew needs to follow my life- and they're probably right! But here I will keep you all ated of this crazy ride we call life.
Washington, District of Columbia, United States About Blog Follow this blog where Marjorie Brimley shares her frustrations, worry and sadness that has been bottled up inside of her since the day she lost her husband. My Widower's Grief blog is dedicated to helping those who are grieving find new ways of exploring and thinking about the landscape of their grief.
It also offers ideas for what others can say and do to help those who are grieving. I speak on grief and loss, shame resilience, providing inspiration to many who are in the process of grieving or crisis. It quickly evolved into a collection of memories and stories, which are helping mine and my wife's friends through their loss.
I'm hoping that one day it will also help my son, who is currently just a toddler. About Blog My name is Kristin and at the age of 51 I unexpectedly became a widow. I spent a lot of time reading about how to live after the death of a spouse. I started my blog when I went by myself to Thailand. Grief is an ongoing process and my blog will be a positive look at some ways that I have coped with my loss and how I am moving forward even when I don't feel like it.
Duluth, Georgia, United States About Blog I was widowed at 34 years of age, with 2 young daughters, 6 and 7 years old. My purpose for writing my memoir, 'A Widow's Pursuit', is to encourage other young widows, that life goes on as we make new and joyful memories.
We all have a different grief journey but we can help and encourage each other to persevere through grief and pursue new dreams! Charlotte, North Carolina, United States About Blog Our intent is to create a safe, online and in-person group for women of color who can identify with the unique circumstances and challenges faced in a world of bias, pre-judgment, bigotry, and intolerance while black and widowed.
Our goal is to reach the black widowed woman by offering empowerment events, conferences, transition planning, career-growth coaching and wellness events.
InTanya started the A Widows World blog where she shares her eleven year perspective and experience in widowhood and as a re-married widow. Since May Blog awidows. About Blog One woman's real-time journey of grief after losing the only man she ever loved.Relationship With A Widow/Widower With/Without Children
Sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes humorous, and always genuine. Here's a safe place, a growing place, a way out of the shadows of grief. This blog provides resources and Biblical direction for helping you trust Jesus through one of life's most difficult challenges. Port Charlotte, Florida, United States About Blog The mission of Wealthcare4Widows is to provide a unique financial planning process that supports a widow's entire journey toward recovery and renewal.
Their blog gives guidance for managing financial items and self-care for widows. Since Jun Blog wealthcare4widows. This is my journey through widowhood. I hope you find some comfort here, some measure of feeling as though you are not alone.
Widowed and Dating: Loving Two Men
Cincinnati, Ohio, United States About Blog Follow this blog where Andrea Remke a widow, mom of four shares her experiences as a widow dealing with cancer on Parenting, family, motherhood, kids and much more. Facebook fans 2. South Carolina, United States About Blog Widowlution is a widow blog that aims to help widows deal with their loss by providing books, recipes, fashion advice and much more.
Virginia, United States About Blog I was suddenly widowed in and was a solo parent to two boys for nearly 9 years. I am happily remarried in We are currently adjusting to a being a family of four again. It's safe to say that the past decade has been quite a journey for our family. It has been a blessing to see how God has written our story and been our provider.
About Blog I decided to write this blog about becoming a widower. I married my adorable friend and loving partner, Sally, with the idea we would grow old together. The purpose of this blog is not to depress or to gain sympathetic responses, but perhaps to use this to somehow lessen the pain and show others that you're not alone. Blog mywidowersjourney. About Blog Widowed Friends is not a grief support group.
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Its primary purpose is to provide a safe, social atmosphere for those of us who've lost our spouses and have made the decision to move forward and connect with others who've also experienced the tragic loss of a spouse.
San DiegoCalifornia, United States About Blog Follow this blog where a young widow shares her journey who lost her husband at 34 due to cancer.
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